She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
