he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
