so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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