I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
