hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize