She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
