cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
