can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
