adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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