Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
