this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
