And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
