Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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