can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
