i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it's great music for shaving your balls
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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