uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
