I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Be still, my beating vagina.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
