this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
