are you still at the devil's house?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
