just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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