I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
