He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
