I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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