I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
