Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
