is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
