So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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