i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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