see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize