it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
