Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
