he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
