she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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