i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
