Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize