I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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