Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
God gave him joint rollers for hands
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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