Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
