You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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