the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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