LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
