I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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