Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
