I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
