hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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