Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize