After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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