i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
