The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
