So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
this is an emotional support booty call
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
