shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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