i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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