what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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