Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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