Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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