Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
