i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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