My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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