The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
