hotel room ftw
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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