anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize