I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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