just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize