That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize