cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
