# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You smell like stripper and shame
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
