I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
