Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
